Letting go of friendships can be tough, but it only makes you stronger.
Getting older is a funny thing. You change so much and as you change your friendships with fall apart or they grow stronger. I know I’ve seen a lot of both of those this year. Its hard to keep up your friendships when you are all consumed in work and your relationship. Its also hard to keep up your friendships when you’re in very different places than your friends. These are some tough lessons to be learned! There are many friends I feel I have lost this past year and while I know its for the better, it truly makes me sad.
One friend in particular I had been friends with for years. We went to school together, worked together, ate lunch together and worked out together. Without giving out too many details, this friend went another path that I fully supported as their friend, however they made more friends along the way and I seemed to become less important. It was something we struggled with as we tried to keep up our friendship. The lunches and workouts became far and few between and we seemed to have less in common as we were in very different places in our lives. Looking back now, I should have broken off the friendship then.
We seemed to grow farther apart but every once in a while would catch up over the phone, they would apologize for not keeping in touch and I would say it was okay, but the truth was it really hurt. The last time we spoke it was the night before my graduation party.We caught up over the phone with the same empty promises that it will be different and we will stay closer, but for some reason I was really hopeful after our conversation. I was done with school and maybe if my schedule opened up a little bit we could better schedule time for each other.
The next night at my graduation party I wait and waited for my long lost best friend to show up. My party came and went and they never came and they never texted or called. I hate to be that person that holds a Facebook post against someone, but it was clear they chose to go out drinking instead of stop by at the party of my greatest accomplishment to date. I was devastated.
I still miss this person so much, but maybe its the old them I miss. Its almost like a relationship though. They hurt me so bad with their empty promises I’m afraid to talk to them. I don’t want to get hurt again. This person was like a sibling to me, and I still care for them. In fact I still talk to their mom every once in a while! But I can’t bring myself to trust this person with anything, and I doubt I will speak to them again. What hurts even more is they know they hurt me and they still didn’t see a need to apologize or even respond. Maybe I just suck at being a good judge of character.
Moral of the story, its very weird as you get older how your friendships grow or break. While I still have many friends I am close to, I don’t feel any of them are in the same place as me. They’re either married with kids, or single and loving it. Nothing wrong with either of those, I just feel very inbetween.
On the bright side my relationship with Nick grows every day and he continues to be my best friend. I just wish we had a couple to go out with every once in a while!
Does anyone else feel the same way? Are you the in between friend? Or have you had a friendship fall apart that hurt you even though you still miss them? Please share!